Saying no to good things

3/4/2020

It's been a while since I've blogged. Part of the reason has to do with the busyness of this semester. Life has been both exciting and stressful, and I've learned that the one thing that balances these two extremities is the choices that I take on, and the opportunities I politely decline.

While January felt like a year in itself, February flew by:

I have been working to fill my classes at Cyclebar via focusing on cultivating community there.
I started my job as an editorial intern at a digital agency called PMG.
I've been preparing to go to Belize with my college ministry this spring break.

All of these things have been part of a mathematical equation that couldn't seem to be solved. This equation has been trying to divvy up school and work, friends and boyfriend, rest and burnout, & God and life.

It's been busy!

Here's one thing I've learned through it all: Yes, obviously you should say no to bad things, but that's not what I'm talking about. February has been a month of learning the courage and rest that comes with saying no to good things.

And now, I've confused you. Please don't stop reading; I promise I have a point.

The Power of Breath

The very way you breathe can tell a lot about yourself. I continually found myself short of breath, almost as if I've forgotten what it's like to breathe normally. It was like my breathing began to match the rushed pace of my life. When I would inhale and exhale, these breaths would be jagged and short. I didn't realize how anxiety and stress could alter one of the very things that keeps me alive: my breath. That was one cue to take a step back and remind myself of the rhythm of life I wanted to pursue. I wanted a rhythm that would yield peace and joy to myself and others rather than stress (Romans 15:13).

The Rhythm of Life: Inhale Grace and Exhale Love

I want my breath to represent what I'm taking in and letting go. Just like how I constantly need my breath to survive, I want this practice to also remind me of other things I need in my life to thrive.

When I inhale, I think of carrying in the grace that I forever need.
Fact— I continuously make mistakes and sin REALLY badly. If you don't see it on the outside, it's because I'm pretty savvy about it. Whether it's pride or selfishness, anger or bitterness, greed or comparison, I am in perpetual need of forgiveness from a Father who is the ultimate provider of grace.

When I exhale, I remember my mission: to be love like how He is and was for us.
I am exhaling love as an extension for others because that it my ultimate goal. I want this love to be evident when I go to my academic classes, teach two spin classes, plan an RA program, and work hard at my internship. While all of those things have their own purposes linked to the job role itself, none of those things matter without the primary purpose in my life—to love others like He first loved us (1 John 4:19).

Self-Check Yourself

We make excuses every day about the "busy season of life right now," or how our jobs demand crazy schedules. Why is it so hard to remember that you have a choice in that season, career, or agenda? Because it requires standing up. At least for me, I thought this busyness was the right pace and normal thing to do. I was extending love to others by encouraging riders in a spin class to chase their dreams; I was maximizing my knowledge at (too) many church events; I was saying yes to spending time with all of my friends...

What I was really doing was burning myself out.

Here's the problem: it's rational to say no to bad things, but all of these things I've said yes to are good things. I've learned the necessity of standing up for myself because people, society, and businesses are going to tell you differently. Ask yourself:

Is your breathing integrated with crevices of stress and anxiety?
Are you making excuses for your busyness?

Life is full of exciting opportunities to grow, learn, and enjoy. We love to say yes to the things that make us healthy and smiling humans. However, I've discovered that happiness has an inflation point. It's like a scale that holds good things. The balance of the excitement of good stuff is excessive, and the other side of the scale seeps into life. This. I've learned, produces stress.

This month has been me learning to say no to quite a bit of things. I was terrified at first. In my mind, thoughts of making a wrong choice, being unhappy, and missing out (The FOMO is real) filled my mind. However, change can be good. It may seem like the world will stop if you stop; taking in the cold reality that life will go on just fine without me was by far the most humbling and peaceful truth I experienced this past month.

Takeaways and Updates on Life

Sometimes you gotta say no to good things.
I taught my last class at Cyclebar this Saturday. The studio I poured my heart into each time I walked in has played such a big part of my life and saying goodbye was bittersweet.

Sometimes you have to adjust the nature of your goal.
I was planning on running the Cowtown Marathon to qualify for Boston. However, with not enough time to invest in training, I had to be realistic. So, I turned a timed goal into a faith goal. I've dedicated each mile to a person/group in my life. #prayermiles

When you say "no" to one thing, another "yes" is waiting for you.
I started an internship that I absolutely love! Aside from endless lattes and a really cool manager who owns ten pets and can throw snacks at her dog from her phone, I love the learning environment that is both supportive and appreciative.
(yes, Abby, you can get on me about this run-on sentence.)

Remember—the world will be okay. Take that burden off your shoulders.
I had this weird belief that if I stopped, the world would too. Maybe it's naive of me or just how us humans are built, but I've learned that the world keeps going on with or without you. It's not a bad thing. In fact, this should be incredibly refreshing news for us.

And just like how the world moves on, you will too
Even when you say no. Holding on to this truth has allowed me to experience a whole another cadence of life that is filled with peace even when I'm running. It's called freedom.

If you are a podcast junkie like I am, here is a sermon my college pastor gave on a series we are going through called "Sabbath." I've listened to it too many times, and it has given me a whole new perspective on rest. Let me tell you, how we see sabbath today is pretty skewed. Give it a listen by clicking the button below: