choose kind

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being kind means walking life with someone right where they are

Dead days are approaching, and finals are finishing out my first year at TCU next week. However, I have never been at a sense of peace with where I am right now. I am blown away by not only the community that was cultivated in just this year at TCU, but the kindness I was able to experience from those around me.

Kind is one of my favorite words. According to dictionary.com, to be kind means “having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature.” I thought I would define what being and choosing kind means to me in my own words based on what I have learned this year.

Kind is smiling. It is smiling when you see someone walk by you on your way to class or to the BLUU (TCU cafeteria). How is kind correlated to smiling? Well, smiling is contagious, and being kind means that you have this deep desire to share the happiness in the world with a person you care about. You never know where this kind gesture can take you. Before you know it, you have started a chain reaction of smiles that may not only lighten up an individual in their own journey of life, but illuminate the world into a happier place. :) Even when you may be having a rough day, smiling can change the way you choose to dictate how the rest of the day will turn out; I encourage you to smile more.

Kind is understanding that we are all on our own journeys in life, and that’s okay. It is accepting someone right where they are despite differences in beliefs and philosophies, and walking with them in love. One thing I learned about in college this year is that it is possible to love people that are so different from myself. Growing up, I chose to surround myself with people like me-artsy, Christian, happy, outgoing, athletic and of course, a food enthusiast. I thought that if I had people I hung out with who were just like me, there would be less arguments, conflict, or misunderstandings. I’ll tell you right now that I was wrong. Getting to know people who are different than myself helped me realize other ways of life, and allowed me to gain a deeper understanding of the power of kind. It all starts with being kind and saying,

Although we don’t share a lot in common, I am going to pursue you with kindness because I care about you. I want to get to know you. I want to grow from you. And I need your help to extend kindness to those around us so that small gestures can turn into uplifting experiences for the world around us.

Not agreeing with someone doesn’t mean one is right and the other is wrong. However, not agreeing with someone gives you the chance to expose oneself to other ways of life. I’m a strong believer in my faith, and I believe that one day, we are going to be able to encounter God, and give him an account of how we extended kindness, compassion, love, and grace to His people. On the other hand, I also know people who don’t believe in this, but that doesn’t mean that their idea of living out a good and purposeful life has to remove being kind to others. It never hurts to spread a little kindness to others through acceptance of understanding that we are all different and on our own journeys.

Kind is discipline. This four-letter word is much easier said than done. Sometimes I’m having a bad day. I am on a short-fuze, and all I wanna do is finish my classes so that I can be by myself. How can I be kind when I am sleep-deprived, frustrated, angry or insecure? Well, one thing I learned is that,
being kind means that you need to work a little harder internally to show a kindness in its best light externally.

In order to do this, I realized that kindness doesn’t mean making sure everyone has the best day ever and you are responsible for impacting every single student and staff on campus in a positive way. It’s about quality, not quantity. Saying “How’s your day going?” to every single person you pass by is kind. But saying it because you just wanna show that you care even though you are really thinking about the test you are about to walk into isn’t being kind at all because kind requires intentionality. Kind requires genuine and fearless authenticity that cannot be mixed with trying to please everyone. I think that God gives us grace in the people we don’t get to encounter by sending someone else in their lives. Instead of saying “How are you?” to every single person in your residence hall only to get the typical response of “I’m tired” or “I’m stressed,” I’ve learned to come up with other ways to rephrase questions so that the negative responses are avoided. What about “What’s good?” Then, your friends are going into the mindset that they are having a good day, because you are placing their focus on the positive things that have so far happened in their day. You could also ask someone about something that you know they love to do, not because you care about soccer or chess club yourself, but because you care about the person and his/her passions that invigorate them. Occasionally, you will get the strange look of “Why do you care about me?” or “You are just plain weird,” but is it all that bad to be weird, or even more, to care too much for someone? That’s when the fearless authenticity plays in. You have to set your mindset that when you choose kindness, you are choosing to be disciplined in a way where you are vulnerable to other people’s opinions and responses; you will be your fearless and authentic self that wants to genuinely cultivate kindness within your community.

Those are a few ways I think about kindness, but if you have other ways you define kindness and want to share, comment below! I would love to hear about other ways I could add to my definition to this simple yet oh so powerful word.
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Have a great day, y’all! Remember that being kind always starts with choosing kind. :)