Gears, RPM, & mindset

being strong doesn't always mean going the fastest or the hardest.

This week, I struggled. Thursday-Friday transitions are always a little tricky as I teach at 6:30pm on Thursdays, and then Fridays at 5:30am.  This week I doubled and taught at 5:30pm and 6:30pm, and then my Friday 5:30am.  In between those classes, I pulled an all-nighter...not because I needed to or wanted to, but because I just couldn't seem to sleep.  Do you every have those nights?  Your mind is restless, and before you know it, it's a new day?

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Getting burnt out is something every fitness instructor I've met experiences, including myself.  I was tired-both physically and mentally.  It didn't help that I was beating myself up over how my classes went post-ride.  When I'm up on that podium and on that bike, it's no longer about me.  It's about my riders.  I want to serve them in the best way possible.  What I say on that podium needs to be impactful, and what I do on that bike needs to be empowering.  However, what I didn't realize in those moments was that I was the one self-evaluating how my riders felt instead of actually knowing the impact that each rider truly experienced.
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It's not about you.  You may be calling the choreo,  leading the interval, or building the energy, but you aren't doing the heart change (someone much bigger is).

​There's a moment that every class leads up to-the connect.  This is my favorite part of the ride because it is the moment that we realize that class isn't just a physical workout. Instead, it's a full-body experience-one focused on the internal such as the heart & the soul.  It's a time for riders to release their stress and let any anxieties exit their bodies.  It's a time for riders to realize that their strength does not come from what they do or how they are seen, but instead from the drive within their hearts, and the fire it fuels within their mindsets.  

So Thursday I found myself saying words that were contradicting my actual state.  When I told them to release their stress, I let mine continue to grow.  When I told them to let go of their heavy burdens, I had a pit in my stomach because I was afraid of how my words were actually impacting them. I wasn't being authentic with myself.  It didn't help that I didn't sleep, and the next morning, I told my riders I got into a deep hole of thinking about what happens next in life. Nothing about what I said to my riders defined strength.  Instead, it represented my skeptical, restless, and messy self.  I just wanted peace.

"You can't control a lot of things. You can't control your sweaty clothes-they may be drenched in the moment.  You can't control what bike you are on at this point.  You are sitting where you are.  But there are things you can control right now-your speed, your resistance...& your mindset"
-Brooke Macko, Cyclestar @ Waterside

So sometimes, I'm a nut.  Actually pretty much always, lol.  My restless, tired body decided to wake up this Saturday morning, and go to Cyclebar to ride.  Not teach, but to ride for myself.  Sitting on my bike and looking at the instructor on the podium was opposite of what I usually do, but I embraced the uncomfortable because there was a moment where this was the normal. 

Brooke's words were exactly what I needed to hear today.  When she hit the connect, I realized that I was focusing on so many things I couldn't control. My Thursday night consisted of asking myself why I couldn't fully comprehend life...why this skepticism despite my strong faith in God led me to fear and stress.  

Then Brooke told me to control what I could, and I began to redefine what strength was

Being strong doesn't always mean being on the heaviest resistance and the fastest speed.

Being strong sometimes means releasing all the resistance, giving yourself some grace, and letting go. 

Being strong also sometimes means cranking up the gear, slowing down the pace of life, and finding peace in the midst of the struggle. 

But most importantly, being strong means letting go of the fact that it's all about you because you are not the one doing the heart change.  Being strong means relying on the God who gave you full and abundant life, & trusting his goodness to impact your riders because life is more than the words that come out of your mouth and the reputation you work so hard to achieve.

It took me being on the other side of the spin theatre to understand that.  Brooke's words were magical, impactful, and inspiring, and God used her today to speak to me.  (okay, that's pretty rad)

When I came out of class, Brooke was a little uneasy about messing up on the choreo, but I didn't even notice. Sometimes we need to stop focusing on being perfect, and instead focus on how God is using every single mistake and mishap in our life to impact others.  That's the beautiful thing about life-it's a redemptive story of His unconditional grace & love that can fill our hearts with peace even when we screw up. 

I am so blessed to be part of a Cyclebar community that is focused on empowering and inspiring each other.  Nobody's perfect, and nobody every will be, but we find worship in a 45 minute experience that brings together broken people, and reminds us of the bigger picture.  I'm not afraid to preach what I believe in, and nor should you because life is so much more abundant when you choose to get over your reputation and start focusing on your character. ​