Living in abundance of the "present"

​Happy New Year’s! Although everyone has been throwing out the “We don’t need another day of 2020”, I think we can all say that we have learned a lot from this year. 2020 has grown us, shaped us, and hopefully—refined us in a way we may never have imagined. 

Am I becoming the person I want to be?

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​Growth is an idea that people throw around a lot. It’s pretty attractive in Western culture. Personal growth, relational growth, spiritual growth, leadership growth, you name it. I love personal growth because it encompasses the activity of seeking self-awareness; this self-awareness includes reflecting on experiences and seeking the “why’s” behind significant moments in life. Self-awareness also acknowledges the other parties and people in the circumstances, but ultimately focuses on what you can control—yourself. This makes sense to me.
 
In the process of reflection, you have the opportunity to grow in wisdom and things become apparent to you that may have not been before. Then, you can take it one step further by asking the question that increasingly grows more significant with age--am I becoming the person that I want to be? You may realize the need for some changes in your daily life.

• If you’re humble, you will definitely find flaws.
• If you’re wise, you acknowledge that the decision to make uncomfortable changes is worth it.
• If you’re disciplined, you begin the process of pruning the rotten fruit, bearing the healthy fruit, and supporting the fruit on a trellis that can withstand hardship and circumstance.

 
Although our world loves the idea of growth and encourages people in all their growth journeys, the process isn’t easy. Scott Erickson, an author and artist from Austin, Texas, defines it perfectly:
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​The process of growth is always uneasy because growth never comes through ease. It comes through the stretching and expanding of one’s own capacity to push on ahead

Scott Erickson; Honest Advent

​​We’ve all had a lot of stretching in 2020. One specific part of my life that I’ve been really sorting through the past month has been the impact of social media on others as well as how it influences myself and who I want to become.
 
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been glued to my phone more than ever before. I believe that social media is affecting humans in that it…

• infiltrates our time, 
• disrupts our desire to be known and loved, and 
• challenges our need for community. 

That’s why social media is so addictive—it taps into our innate desire to feel loved, our sense of belonging in community, and uses one of the things humans are confined by—time. That’s my thesis. I’ll go into the implications of these factors in this blogpost.
 
DISCLOSURE: I’ll state my opinion about this digital integration (and disruption), but these are my thoughts and you have yours, too. My hope is that this post can stir the pot as you tackle your own social life or dilemma.
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​Instead of starting out with talking about the role of social media, I’m going to talk about us humans, first. This seems fit as it’ll set a more relatable framework in which I can build on conclusions and statements I’ve come to about who we are and who we are designed to become (FYI—I’m not the designer, so please extend me grace if I mess up). Then, we can talk about the relation between humans and social media. 
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​Humans are many things. Humans are a formation of building blocks called cells that comprise genetic material. Humans are physical, emotional, and spiritual beings; we have desires and needs to not only survive, but flourish in life. For the purpose of this post, I wanted to talk about three different qualities/instances that I believe make and affect our humanity:
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1. humans are narrative-making machines

Every day we encounter people and experiences that we take in and process. We are designed in a way that searches for purpose, seeks understanding, and makes meaning. One way we tackle our narrative-making desire is through communication. We communicate with others whether its one-way or two-way communication.

For example, you may participate in one-way communication by reading a book to understand how to build some sort of contraption. The author is the one with the mic, and you are the listener. On the other hand, you can have a two-way conversation with a spouse to problem solve a misunderstanding...it gets nasty when you decide to revert to one-way communication by avoiding the listening role, and only participating in speaking your thoughts. Miscommunication can easily happen when we communicate (or don’t communicate) with others. How we form stories and anecdotes may be different from another’s…the why behind this is further explained in my next point…
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2. humans are a culmination of both nature and nurture

Like I said before, we are made of hereditary material which codes us into the unique individuals that we are; half of our genes come from our mom and the other half come from our dad. Those genetics explain our hair color, bone-build, personality, and other traits. We are also shaped by our experiences. Our childhood, conversations & relationships with others, and events that we've experienced in our lives develop our character. These things can also explain our habits and tendencies.
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3. humans live in a culture today that breeds a microwave mentality

This type of living removes gratitude in the present and the process because the mentality encourages the instant pleasures of temporary gratification and quick fixes/results. The problem with the microwave mentality is that it is 1) unsustainable, 2) not living in accordance to our calling towards faithfulness, and 3) not allowing us to live a life in the abundance of the “present”. (I’ll keep you on your toes and explain what I mean by this later).

​In short, taking on a microwave mentality in life does not allow you to tap into faithfulness—the process of becoming*. You are so focused on the end results that you miss the opportunity to honor the process and/or what's right in front of you.

*defined by Jefferson Bethke in podcast "Fight Hustle, End Hurry"

INTERMISSION: I’m taking a pause because you may have arrived to a conflicting thought: I don’t believe in what you believe, Liv. You may be [questioning/wondering/disagreeing with] the calling that I take purpose in, and thus—not resonate with what I am saying. (You can learn more about my story and purpose in my life on this site before continuing if you feel led to.)
 
Here is my food for thought—Use your discernment to either continue to read amid your skepticism or use your time elsewhere. We live in a world of mass information/misinformation/disinformation and if it’s not your time and place, I totally understand.  I already told you that my hope for this post is that it would stir the pot on your social life. 

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​I will now use the three statements about humanity we outlined earlier to serve as a framework to dissect social media’s impact on our lives. I’m gonna take apart each of the points listed above in a way that ties social media’s impact to humanity’s condition. 
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1. social media taps into our stories by becoming the narrative-making machines for us

I remember hearing the definition of “social media” in my advertising class my junior year and being taken aback.  The term was defined as a tool that provides information and analytics to parties. What was astonishing to me about the definition was that the parties were not referring to us. The parties were referring to tech companies that collect, analyze, and then relay information to give to their clients/brands. 
 
If you were to ask me what the definition of social media was, I’d define the term as a technology that connects and serves people in a way that brings convenience and proximity right to our very own fingertips. Social media is an amazing tool that brings people together and allows us to have our own personal platforms in voicing our beliefs, or promoting our small businesses and the changes we want to see and be in the world. But while social media can be seen as a world in itself, it often does not showcase the actual world we live in. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing—if we were to compare Instagram as a digital scrapbook to capture moments to cherish, this makes sense. I wouldn’t necessarily cut out pictures and decorate moments where I cried myself to sleep or times when I was betrayed by loved ones (yes, I am an actual scrapbooker, and I can confirm this).
 
#all #about #that #feedback
While there were those #makeinstagramreal and #nofilter days to create a more honest movement of what social media feeds us, it’s exactly what the app wants to do. The app was designed to maintain the feedback loop continuum, and hashtag movements are doing just that. When one movement fades out, another update will take over the buzz, whether it be new filters to make posts more aesthetic or video chats that allow you to interact more personally with others.

​Anyways, back to this whole audience thing—it's crazy to me that when we enter the social media realm, we aren’t the customers but the product. Social media gains access to our information and then creates algorithms catered to each one of us in order to better understand us; then, insights and analytics are used to provide the customers with substance to give to clients/brands to help them better promote their products. Whether this is ethical or not is a whole another argument that I am still not fully clear on in my own thoughts.  
 
Our role in the world of social media is not designed to be the narrative-making machine, but to be the product that reacts to the stories that social media content tells us about ourselves. Like I mentioned before, this is why social media is so effective—it taps into our desires to feel known and loved by creating content that resonates with our needs and sense of belonging. As nostalgia—the attractive and familiar emotions—flood into our minds as we scroll social media, the conversation that creates warm and fuzzy feelings moves us to react: we like the post, we repost the content, or we comment on the statement. Everything about how we engage in social media is reactive.
 
So, here is where we are at; let’s do a little sparknotes: 

• We are the product and not the creator.
• We are the reader and not the storyteller.

 
Now, let’s bring in the other side. On social media, you have the ability to create your own stories (that’s literally what it’s called on Instagram), posts, and content. In this sense, it seems like we totally get to be a content creator and storyteller. As a strategic communication major, these are literally the professions I’ve spent almost four years at TCU studying to pursue: Content Creation or Branding (specifically—storytelling branding). 
 
I acknowledge the argument that content creation and storytelling is possible, and even more convenient, on social media. However, social media isn’t only giving you a platform; it’s giving everyone their own platforms, and that’s when the influence (and affluence) of other’s posts and other’s reactions start to infiltrate our "narrative-making machine" builds of humanity. Let’s move on to the next point to further hit the nail in this argument:
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2. humans are a culmination of both nature and nurture, and that nurture is now being fed on a daily basis by social media’s notifications on how may “likes” you’ve received, the stories you tap through, and the posts that always know what you want and need

​The fact that you receive a paid advertisement on Instagram every four posts you scroll through is dumbfounding to me. Moreover, the advertisement is not random but strategic. It’s an algorithm that feeds you what you want to see. Every four posts, I can almost guarantee that my Instagram is going to pop up with an ad from Lululemon or Madewell. I love those stores, I receive their emails, and I browse their sites. To say that an ad that shows me exactly what I’ve wanted is simply a coincidence is just not sufficient anymore in today’s world. There are too many coincidences to not observe or ponder what’s going on.
 
The fact that Instagram changed its button that directs you to see how many people liked your posts to an online shopping page is also something worth noting. With all the information Instagram already gathers from us in order to serve its customers (remember—not us) best, I think it’s safe to assume that there was a method behind its madness in this update, too. While I don’t know the exact purpose of this update, I can say that—for myself—that button was my most-clicked button…which now takes me to an online shopping page. Now, I can buy more things that are said to bring back the “Christmas spirit,” “deliver happiness in a package", and meet the needs of my "comfy quarantine closet.”
 
#dat #feedback #loop #tho
Social media is the thing tapping into our needs and desires of feeling known and loved through quick clicks that rush instant (but only temporary) hits of pleasure. If it’s only temporary, it means that those feelings don’t last forever…so what do we do? Well, that’s something you can answer for yourself…my hint is to look at your own habits; once you’ve looked off your phone, look up at other people around you in similar social dilemmas.
 
Let’s come around to the other side now. We are a culmination of both nature and nurture. If who we are isn’t just defined by our experiences but also our genetics that make up our personality and traits, who’s to tell you that you are addicted to your phone? What if you are someone who is extremely disciplined, practice temperance on a daily basis, and don’t have an addictive personality? This is definitely something I’d encourage you to think about. Ultimately, you do not become who you are on the things that you do once in a blue moon. A more accurate picture of who you are can be painted as the culmination of your daily habits and practices that grow your character. Let’s further talk about this idea with my last point about humanity’s condition:
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​3. Because humans live in a culture that already breeds a microwave mentality, Instagram doesn’t only feed us our instant needs; it also feeds the culture itself 

​I’m not going to say whether this is the right or wrong direction of our world’s mentality, but I will ask you to think about how this mentality impacts you or plays out in your life. The microwave mentality is this idea that Darren Hardy (Author and Success Mentor) explains as our desire for quick and instant fixes. 
 
Lose 10 pounds in 10 days? Sign me up. Have clear skin in one week with this subscription! Well, it’ll increase my debt, but one week makes it worth the investment. YOLO—just get the shirt? Heard that. FOMO? No regerts! It’s now or never. True dat. 
 
Do you get my point? (really Hardy’s point, but I affirm). 
 
#insta-results
Social media also plays into this microwave mentality. Have you ever wondered why Instagram is called Instagram? The app provides instant notifications of likes that say you are loved, instant ads that tell you what you “need” in the moment, instant stories that pop-up to stay connected to your people…

• …what about the people waiting for you to put your phone down so that you can enjoy dinner with actual people in molecular proximity with you?
• …or what about the time you spent adding a filter to a story that takes away from experiencing the beautiful nature that is already perfect without the added blogger preset or “sunny vibes” filter?

I don’t want to end on a dire note, and I won’t. I hope you take what I’ve said in a way that examines the root of why you have Instagram, Facebook, or other social media because I did it myself, and it was convicting enough to move me to action. 
 
I truly do believe that these platforms are brilliant and convenient tools that connect me to people who live thousands of miles away from me. I believe that social media allows me to create my own scrapbook in the 21st century that doesn't risk getting lost in attics or ruined with coffee spills. I believe my creative juices flow when I think about what I want to post and how I want to do it. I believe that social media is a great way to celebrate my friends in times of graduation and growing families or empathize and pray for people in seasons of loss and grief. 
 
So what did you do, Liv? 

​For me, I recognized the importance to stay vigilant of the toll Instagram can take on my time, sense of peace, and reality of life. 
 
I acknowledged that I do have an addictive personality; what seems like a post to encourage others can quickly become a feedback loop that keeps me returning to check my notifications. 
 
Some ways I’ve been able to tackle this social dilemma of using Instagram in the purpose that I want it to be in my life is by consistently checking in with my “why” behind my use, and creating a trellis that allows me to use social platforms to bear the fruit that is not being strangulated by addiction, idolatry, and/or a microwave mentality. 

​I’ve found great significance in consistently asking myself the “why” behind my presence on the apps. Social media is built in a way where it is gathering and collecting information for its customers. We are not the customers but the products. Learning to use something in a way that it’s not originally designed for may not be impossible, but can be incredibly challenging at times. 
 
When I talk about my “why” in life, I’m referring to my purpose. I (try to) live a life that is founded on truth to bring glory to God and God alone. I want to make more of Him and share Him with the world because He’s just that good. I also want to live a life that is honest—one that people can see and smile at because it's relatable; whether its sharing the "trickies or crappies" of life, or serving as a reminder of our humanity, I'm all about it.

When I get on social media, I want to create content that does just that. If I come across a passage in Scripture that really speaks to me, I post it on my story. I post it not to expect outcomes of salvation for other people because that’s not my job. I believe that the Holy Spirit is what changes people’s hearts, and while I can post something that may bring awareness and exposure to the truth I want to share, there is no guarantee that the post will be received by others as anything but another one to tap through.
 
The temptation in this is that I can glorify my own work of creating something as the post or story that’s doing the life change. If I believe in the Gospel, my evidence and guidance is the Word. John 3:30 says “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Social media can make it hard to do that.  That is why being in the Word is so important—not just to remind me of who I am, but to serve as the trellis to bear fruit with healthy roots grounded in truth.

​I’ve taken myself to the thing that, I believe my whole life on, was designed to help guide me in telling me who I am—the Word of God. If I’m choosing to engage in social media, I’m susceptible to the battle of identity lost in the digital realm. Knowing the Designer who actually crafted me with a specific purpose and identity helps bring me back to the true calling and path of who I am to become. Put simply, He is the one who truly knows me and loves me.
 
With that being said, my daily practices should always include more time spent in the Word than on  social media. I’ve been sorting through this battle of trying to be in this digital world without spending so much time on the platforms where I am letting social media tell me who I am or take me away from living in the present. 
 
Living in the abundance of the present can only be done by cultivating practices built into your life that allows you to have your heart and mind focused on your purpose in life. Waking up in the morning or going to sleep scrolling with social media is not a practice that allows me to live in abundance of the present. Therefore, creating practices that serve as a trellis for me to grow and bear fruit is incredibly important.
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Living in abundance of the "present"
(the moment & a gift)

​This present is not just one that is abundant in the here and now, but also a gift given in the form of a person who has a name—Jesus.  When I thought of this title, I wanted to convey two points: 

1. The importance of being present to what is happening in our world in the here and now.
2. The importance in living a life founded on the present that is ever as real as it was 2,000 years ago—Jesus’s life, death, burial, and resurrection.

Jesus lived a life that took away the death that we deserve and offered us a gift that is received by  faith and trust in him. There is nothing to prove or earn or buy to receive this gift, but everything to give up and lose. While that sentence may not have digested well, it’s simply the truth. 
 
In order to live a life according to this calling, I have to lose myself and surrender to Him each day. I have to recognize that I am broken and imperfect. I have to create a trellis that brings me back to God who breathed life into my lungs and provided me with the gift of life despite how undeserving I am of it. He does that for you, too.
 
I don’t want to be reactive to the world that tries to tell me who I am because (1) the world will never satisfy, and (2) I know the truth.
I want to be one who is patient and disciplined; 
I want to be one who bears fruit because of a strong trellis of daily practices; 
I want to be one who can use social media while still being present and remembering the present.
 
It starts with self-awareness, then asking yourself the “why,” and then creating practices that help you hold steadfast to those objectives founded on your why. “You can’t change your life until you change your behaviors” (Hardy), and if you think that changing your life can be done instantly, you are wrong. It’s the daily disciplines and habits (which take time) you create in your life that set you up for success. That's why my 2021 word of the year is consistency. Even when it's hard, even when it's painful, even when you "just don't feel like it," you remember that consistency is what makes habits, actually habits.
 
To conclude
One specific passage in Scripture that started the train of thoughts for this blogpost was 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12. I thought I’d give praise to this command by ending my post with it. I hope this passage is dissected with conviction and prayer if you choose to self-reflect on your habits in the digital realm and ask what that means for you, whatever that may be. Happy 2021, folks. :)

But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more and to aspire to live quietly. And timing your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

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Special thanks for wisdom I found in these words + podcasts:

• God's Word
• Scott Erickson; "Honest Advent"
• Darren Hardy; "The Compound Effect"
• John Mark Comer + Jefferson Bethke Podcast; "Fight Hustle, End Hurry"
• Northplace Church Podcast: "The Pursuit of Wisdom"