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Hope you enjoy!
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Took a sabbatical several months ago. "Kid-adults"—that’s just a fancy word for making intentional time to get away from the craziness of life to return to your truest self when stripped away of all the titles and to-do lists.
I also just love this word. It rolls of the tongue and is just so fun to say. Sabbatical. 
Before I begin, if you’re new to The Shindig, welcome! This is my creative hub. Specifically, the blog section is a place for me to write and reflect on meaningful moments, lessons, and experiences by putting them into words. A mentor of mine who I deeply respect told me that “if you don’t take time to look back at where I’ve been, it’s really hard to see how far I’ve come.” He also said that “if you look back in resentment, you will likely move forward in fear. On the other hand, if you look back in thanksgiving, you can move forward in faith.” Another quote I heard from reading a book that I’ll put below in the Acknowledgements writes this: “Life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward” -Soren Kierkegaard, philosopher I’m excited to no longer have my latest blogpost be from October 2021 on my socials (yikes). However, I have always promised myself and y’all—I want to write meaningful pieces here. And well—meaningful stories take time because life must be lived first. This isn’t a piece to hype myself up, but hopefully encourage you in what life can be when you live one out in gratitude of all the moments in life—yes, the good and the bad, the painful and the wonderful. Life is a culmination of moments. While the world tells us we can do anything and everything, I've come to the hard realization that this is untrue...and it's one of the most freeing realities when you finally swallow that truth. There is a hand that we’ve all been dealt to a magnitude, and it is in those limitations where we can truly find our authentic purpose here on this Earth. Let’s get that hard truth out of the way and dive right in: Taking Ownership of the Hand you’ve been Dealt and Writing a Good StoryOne of the things I’ve reflected on the past year of launching into the full-time working world and going all-in has been how to tie my work to my purpose. Work takes up a majority of my time and effort in life, and it probably does for you, too. Your work may not exactly entail the 9-5 pm schedule, and that’s okay. You may be a hustler and do the “double job” of juggling the student life with the collegiate athlete status, or be a mom of four and entrepreneur/business owner of your local craft products "on the side". Whatever that looks like for you, today’s blogpost is about taking ownership of your business, and your life if we challenge ourselves to view it this way. This includes what it means to not just do business in your career, but business in all the aspects of life that matter to you. I encourage you to tune into this post with all those facets of life you deem important.
Part I: Taking Ownership of the Hand you’ve been Dealt:I’m so excited to talk about writing a good story. We all have stories to tell. However, before that, I feel it’s important to address the not-so-fun truth that we all have this hand that has been dealt to us which has given each of us unique opportunities and limitations. I’ve seen this play out in my industry being finance:
What I’m trying to show is that these different “hands”, so to speak, represent those opportunities and limitations. While there are advisors who have vibrant markets surrounding oil and gas connections and strong family prestige, others are simply trying to create a sustainable practice to prove society, family, or themselves that they were meant for something bigger and more meaningful than themselves or a paycheck. I’ve noticed there isn’t a direct correlation of those who "make bank" and soar in the career versus those who struggle to swim. Moreover, the answer lies in this tenacity, grit, and endurance to pick back up and try new things when adversity and rejection pulls them underwater. Some may call this a limitations, others may call this an opportunity. Whatever you identify this as, the ending isn’t based on one’s income or even connections, but instead acknowledging these opportunities and limitations to then move forward with two things that we can all control--attitude and effort. Meg Jay, author of The Defining Decade puts it beautifully: Part of realizing our potential is recognizing how our particular gifts and limitations fit with the world around us. We realize where our authentic potential actually lies. -Meg Jay, The Defining Decade, 53 Part II: Taking Ownership of Writing a Great Story:So if we all have a story to tell, the first step is to start dreaming. This is my favorite part! Sometimes, this step is where you, as an author, can encounter writer's block—there’s so much possibility, where can/do you possibly start?
Here’s the problem: our culture does a really good job promoting the “dreaming big” part and envisioning the stories we want to tell, but a pretty poor job on actually explaining how to get there. That’s where we must take ownership—in the actual execution. Heads up—it’s not all unicorns and rainbows most of the time...at least if it’s meaningful. The Trap of Today's Culture: We live in a world of monetizing our desires through convincing, and often deceptive advertising that play to our (disordered) desires. This guides us toward a false narrative that dreams simply come true. Name it and you got it. Dream it and you’ll see it. Buy it and you’ll have it. Spoiler alert—they don’t. There is a difference between a dream and reality just as there is a difference between living life passively in a delusion and pursuing life proactively with a plan. Hang with me for a sec, but I’m going to digress for a sec and talk about one of my favorite topics: the enneagram. - - - If your familiar with the enneagram, I’m a type 7. (What I’m really trying to say is that if you’re not familiar with the enneagram, go read on it.) What this blogpost is all about is just about my greatest downfall when it comes to a 7 trying to execute on all the dreams they are really good at starting but not necessarily great at finishing. Type 7’s are dreamers. We love saying yes to embarking on adventures, pursuing opportunities, and starting new things in the hopes of living a life that leads to the one path — joy. But in order to get there, we have to do a lot of planning so that our trek doesn’t veer another direction. If you lived long enough, that’s a poor game plan because we know that life just doesn’t work out that way, even if you plan it out to every second and every interval. In an unhealthy response, 7’s procrastinate to just remain “stuck” in their dream so that they don’t have to face the sorrows and unexpected circumstances that life may bring about. It’s really a disappointment because then the dreams just stay in the “cloud”, whether that be the dream journals, bucket lists, or in their head. So, I get it. I love to dream. However, nothing happens until you implement practical measures to turn that dream into reality. My job consists of talking to clients every day on dreaming for big and different seasons or moments like retirement or sending the kids to college. That’s why it’s so important to drive the emphasis on proactive planning. This takes work on both ends— a team-effort to sort through the emotions and reasons to prioritize one’s finance, and then the team to follow up when plans change or unexpected events occur. Let’s go big picture on this idea— a theme of every story: Instead of living a life in your head as an illusion or delusion, it’s time to do what it takes to make that dream reality.
I say all these things because I’ve experienced all of the above personally in the past year. And most of these bullet points took major curveballs in my story that I would never thought would occur in that chapter or time. Flat out rejection and hang-ups. Heart-wrenching break-ups. Questioning of authenticity. Convicting resistance.
So if this sounds like fire and brimstone lecture and this point, keep going. Here are some practical measures I’ve been able to utilize to help me live a life of “showing, not telling” and approaching my business (remember—you insert what that "business" is for you) with authenticity and perspective: Part III: 10 Practical Ways to Get Down to Business!Taking Ownership of my [insert your priority].1. Write a Business PlanBut seriously. Our firm started these mock shark tanks to get us in the mindset of really taking ownership of our business and knowing it “to the t”. During my sabbatical, I went online and downloaded a business plan template and started filling in the different areas that are essential to being your own CEO. Questions like what your vision is, how you plan on getting there, what your target audience is, and how your key performance indicators (KPIs) support your journey to different milestones made me realize how important it was to know these answers so I could speak to them, but more importantly, execute on them. It does take time, but definitely a worthwhile exercise. 2. Journal it: Intentional ReflectionJournal it. Stop living life like your a cosmic accident and everything is luck or a coincidence.
I have a 1:1 with my boss every week, and there was one time where I felt like everything was going well in my “work” business, but so much was unknown in other lines of business—family and future. Verbalizing how I felt turned my tears of sorrow into tears of joy because it was sweet to see the Lord be present in each of the moments that I didn’t understand until communicating it in hindsight. During that 1:1 conversation, despite the chaotic present, I felt the Lord's providence and peace. My boss smiled and asked if I was writing this all down. I shook my head, and the very next day, I indulged on an overpriced journal…I don’t regret the investment at all. :) 3. Build healthy habitsFirst point on this--start small. Scientific evidence shows that “things that fire together wire together.” Going back to the marathon analogy, you can’t just decide to run a marathon and go do it the next day. Even if you try, you could really hurt yourself (personal proof here). It takes time and training, and in that—building good habits and discipline. The first run, you go for three miles. The next time, you make it five. You build on top of the last, and start building the muscles and endurance you need where it becomes a routine. This routine then creates good habits. One of the habits I’ve been worked on a lot this past year is how I approach unexpected events that don’t go my way. Now I’m not perfect at it, all you have to do is ask my boss to confirm. But I’m working on it. I remember when I first started my practice, I was just so ready to go all-in and make an impact. I knew there would be rejection, hang ups, and “no’s” that were out of my control, but it wasn’t until I started to actually experience the pain and frustrations where it got surreal. I’d get into this attitude that usually hindered my practice because I thought of all the things that went wrong or could go wrong than what I could do in my power to make it right and move forward. What I learned was that great companies/businesses are built by great leaders. And great leaders don't victimize but take extreme ownership. They drop their egos, and adopt forward thinking mindsets where they can always express gratitude for what's going right (Jim Collins, Good to Great). When me and my partner were so excited to get to serve a young couple and they were declined for a policy, I was shattered. My partner kept telling me we would find another way to serve them, but all I could think about was the rejection email. Or when one of my cases closer to home was tracking to leave a massive legacy and a carrier shut it down, I felt that I not only let a plan down but people down. Once again, my team reminded me we were going to do everything we could. We applied with a new carrier, and it was that momentum of knowing I wasn’t alone in trying to serve my clients that helped me take the second carrier rejection in a different way. Instead of thinking worst case scenario, I shifted my mindset in a forward- thinking way to decide the next best steps. Meg Jay writes, “Forward thinking doesn’t just come with age. It comes with practice and experience” (Meg Jay, The Defining Decade, 158). She implies that you are going to have to suffer. It is this tough reality that I needed to learn to accept. The last piece I want to add here is that “We become what we hear and see and do everyday.” (John Mark Comer). Who you surround yourself with and what you put into your body, mind, and soul will put trajectory and movement to the habits you desire to develop. Remember this as you protect your story, your business, and the life that you want to live. 4. Prioritize what matters and invest in itPrioritize what matters and invest in it. You define the worth. Growing up, good investments were defined by what my parents defined as good investments:
What I’m trying to get at here is that taking ownership of your life is now making your own intentional investments in your life or business that will drive you forward. Detaching from other opinions whether that be parents, society, etc. is integral. Some may stay the same and others may change. An investment has a cost; the literal definition is, “the action or process of investing money for profit or material result.” If you want results, figure out what you need to invest in whether it it relationships, time, travel, assistants, organic food, counseling, fitness membership, or even vacation. The list goes on. Make that list specifically tailored to you and your business plan. “Is it meaningful?”This rhetorical question can be helpful to ask yourself when you are considering investing in _____, but it is making you sacrifice _____. I work for a financial firm that is built on this idea that “two are better than one” (Ecc. 4:9); we tackle planning with a team because we believe that we can offer a better client experience when there are different specialists and experts tackling the complexities of a financial plan. With that, all of us have access to see other colleagues’ calendars so we can schedule meetings. Our regional managing partner has a calendar that lags loading when I add it to mine, and even shut down my entire Outlook app when I first tried to view it. I’m convinced it’s because of how busy he is. It is a colorful explosion that pops up on my calendar that includes internal meetings, leadership meetings, recruiting meetings, personal meetings, joint-work meetings, travel, tournaments for the kids, sports practices, drive time, family time, date night, etc. When we were on a leadership trip at the beginning of this year, I asked him how he balances it all and stays afloat. He responded with this question of “Is it meaningful?” Such a simple response to a jam-packed calendar. But it’s true. In my business, it’s so easy to come across as busy but not be productive at all. You are never going to get less busy in your career. It's more about managing the time in it, and out of it, so be meaningful with the busy. You set your day. You set your agenda. You choose how you want to build your practice. “The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook.”William James, known as the "father of research psychology" in the US The last thing I’ll say here is that saying yes to one investment often means saying no to another thing (if you're doing it right). Try to do it all, and you will burn yourself out. Keep this in mind. 5. Pay attention to your metricsWhen I started my children’s book series in middle school and launched my LLC, I wanted to just do the creative side of the business and hoped the metrics would work itself out. That was foolish but now I know better. You just can’t do that. It’s important to attach key performance indicators (KPIs) to your goals so that there's substance behind the analysis. That was, you can then can assess and evaluate the results and make changes if needed (or keep doing what’s working). Now, you also can’t be on the other end of the spectrum and push solely the metrics to then think that it will switch the generator of all the creativity to make your product/sell/proposal unique...and then also have it stick in a sustainable way. Creativity comes from originality and that’s not something the numbers can do. That’s not something others can do, either. That’s all you. 6. Initiate culture and don’t expect it to just happen. Create culture.Be part of a culture that creates space to be heard and valued. As a business owner, don’t blame that culture shift on others or outside factors, or you will get into the bad habit of blame shifting everything...and eventually never taking ownership of anything. Instead, create the culture that you want at your workplace, and get to work. Culture isn’t just what you choose to tolerate but it’s also what you get to celebrate. I’ve found that one of the best ways to create culture is to affirm and acknowledge the things going right because it not only makes others and your company feel like they are progressing forward in this area, but it also is setting a framework and a guide for those to follow on "what’s green and what’s red". That lie that “it’s awkward” or “she already knows” can hold you back from opportunities to bless others and create culture. Don't let it! On the other hand, one of the worst ways to address culture issues when people are not aligning is by having to work backwards. Usually, this looks like implementing adjustments/rules that feel like consequences to reframe and respond. Just like any other plan, be proactive. Do what you can on the front-end so you don’t have to go into damage control. That’s no fun for anyone. 7. Seek discernment on how to set apart your business as your own.This may seem obvious but it wasn’t to me. While being at a firm that I get to talk about with others, I have my own personal brand and my own book of business I’m building. So own it. In the beginning, I leaned on much of the structure and practices in place at my company to get me started, as I should. This really helped me launch my business at a speed much faster than my peers in the industry. People don’t just put practices in place for the sake of implementation. Usually, “best practices” are years of experience and figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Lean on the support that your company, or that others offer to you. As I began to grow my business and get a better grip on the trajectory I’m heading towards, I started to figure out what other things I could add to my brand to make it more, well--me.
One thing I will add to this, however, is that freedom is a privilege. Earning the ability to get to take off some guardrails without completely going off the rails, are usually—for most companies— for your own good. Don’t expect to experience success by taking it all in your own hands if you’re not ready yet. Meg Jay says makes a point in her book that relates to this idea: “Sometimes it seems that the challenge of the twenty-something years is to figure out what to do, and then suddenly, we think, it will just start happening. We imagine we will show up at work and instantly add value or succeed. Knowing you want to do something isn’t the same as knowing how to do it. and even knowing how to do something isn’t the same as actually doing it well.” (The Defining Decade, 195). Trust that the systems in place at your company or business are for your own good. (And if you don’t think the company is, maybe that’s a question to explore further). Last thing I’ll add here as you think about making your business your own is that people don’t want fake perfectionism. People want authenticity. People also don’t plan to settle for mediocrity; instead, they expect excellence. You get to build your practice with authentic excellence, so use this framework to think about how you are going to do that. 8. Read and invite other perspectives inRead. Get outside perspective. This book by Meg Jay that I’ve quoted way too many times in this blog was inspired by my CEO’s announcement that he was bringing her in for our semester company event. I wanted to read the book before I meet the author behind it. Instead of reading it with a colleague at work, I decided to talk about it with friends outside my work. There is so much value with surrounding yourself around “like-people” to help grow you in the person you want to become, but I also believe that there is just as much value with surrounding and immersing yourself with people who have different perspectives, different jobs, and different views on life. I got to talk through this book with a friend who is the definition of pure hustle. We met at Cyclebar (no surprise) when she was managing the studio in Oregon while doing ten billion other things (real estate, Insta-cart, fitness instructing, etc) and now leads a team at a construction company. It was so valuable to get to talk about these chapters as 20-something year-olds and learn from each other. For those who say they don’t have time to read, you never will if you don’t make time for it. Get savvy. Audbile it on drives to and from work. Download Blinks app and listen to it on your ride to work. Open a book instead of your Instagram when waiting for your kids or coffee order. Make time. *Scroll down to the bottom to see some of the reads that inspired this post. 9. Do it all in communityYou can have the clearest, most compelling vision in the world, and you can pursue it with relentless passion, action and resilience - but you're not going to get very far if you try to do everything on your own. You need the help of other people. The Execution Factor, Kim Peril Lastly, do it in community. You can’t do it on your own. Community makes the hardest times the sweetest. Community identifies tunnels to the light in the moments of despair. Community makes every moment a meaningful one. My firm is called 49 Financial because it’s named after the verse Ecclesiastes 4:9—this idea that “Two are better than one for you will receive a better return on your labor.” While this speaks to the way we externally get to serve clients with a team of experts and specialists managing different aspects of a financial plan, I’ve felt this experience and core value the most in how mentors and colleagues have encouraged me when I’ve felt weak and subpar. This job is a grind, and there’s no beating around the bush on that fact…but it is so fruitful and life-giving as well. I’m going to build on this fruit analogy so stay with me: Growing a fruitful practice in this industry requires a trellis—a support system that can be there for you when you can’t hold yourself up on your own or start to divert off the grid. Any moment can beat you down — market drop and frantic phone calls; 3-hour travel trip to see a client who then asks to reschedule last minute; changed mind and monthly income projection to 0; 100 calls and 2 pick ups... ...the list goes on. It is in those moments where we must rely on our people around us to let us know the truths and call out the lies:
People are going to need to call you out, people are going to need to affirm you, people may need to discipline you, and people are definitely going to need to encourage you. The moment you let go of your pride and lie that you can do it all on your own is the day your life opens up to the fruitful and abundant life—one of possibilities that were just dreams at one point. And that’s living quite a great story if you ask me. 10. Know your season & get to workKnow your season, and even more—listen and learn to accept the rhythms that come along with it. Some seasons are more fast-paced or what I like to call the “grind”. Other seasons are meant to be slowed down to a cadence that almost feels like resistance (ex. sabbaticals). Taking ownership of your life is understanding the season of life your in, knowing what you want, and being self-aware of the tendencies that may hinder your journey. Meg Jay writes, “The real challenge of the twentysomething years is the work itself. Ten thousand hours is five years of focused, full-time work. (That’s 40 hours X 50 work weeks a year = 2,000 hours a year X 5years = 10,000 hours). (The Defining Decade, 195), *mathematics determined by K. Anders Ericsson, research psychologist who was an expert on well, expertise. The moment I accepted the season I was in and the privilege to be in the position to invest in this season was the moment I was able to stop doubting “work-life balance” and questioning why I was spending so much time at work or attempting to explain to others why I needed to be at the office. It just made sense (other than really enjoying my job, as well). There’s a reason why a season is a season—it’s a period of time, and will look different than other periods of time in life. It’s important to remind myself what season I’m in with trust in His timing of it all because I know there are other seasons of life I look forward to (should be in your business plan). Part of my vision down the road is to be a mom and to have kids. You know, to get to do things in life other than 80+ hour work weeks of calling people, traveling hundreds of miles to get notarized signatures from clients, or sacrificing nights out with friends to prepare for strategy presentations. I have a friend’s father who has been an amazing advocate for me and my business, but at first, was really skeptical about my vision because he said he couldn’t see how it would work when I would become a mom, or if I were to get a better offer in another line of work. He asked me what my game plan would be when I “could no longer work hours on clients because they are spent taking kids to school.” He asked me who would take my clients if I were to no longer be an advisor. Honestly, I’m grateful for all of these questions because it showed me how much he cared for the people in his life he gave me the opportunity to serve. It’s in these conversations that allowed me to believe in myself even more by making it a vision to build a path which other females can look to as a possibility. There are going to be people like this in your life that question the sustainability of your practice, and if it's the same for you as me—on a pretty regular basis. It takes knowing your season, not giving up, rallying your support group, and fighting for what you believe in one day at a time. When we do, we get to pave paths that we never thought we could, and offer a roadmap for others that weren't there before.  Conclusion: |
oh, hey there!
My name is Liv, and I'm happy you made it here! |