Being a TCU Orientation Leader!

~a summer of immense growth, teamwork, & representing TCU~

​Two days ago finished out the last day of living in Milton Daniel Hall (residence hall at TCU) with 17 other Orientation Leaders, 3 Orientation Coordinators, and 20 best friends; not just friends, but the people that come to your wedding, maybe even twerk at your wedding (*cough AJ Bixby).  This summer was high energy, exhausting, incredible, challenging, but most importantly-growing.  

Last but not least, you also have to be that generosity for others; for your small group of 23 orientees, for their parents, and for the orientation staff.  In the midst of unexpected circumstances, heated discussions, and difficult dynamics within a group, partner (co), or staff, I learned how to rise above tricky situations, and spread generosity.

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However, the definition of generosity and what this word embodies didn’t hit me until orientation was over, and I had the time to reflect on all my past sessions.  At every day one of orientation, we do a special session called FROGS which brings to light some of the realities of being in college.  Although TCU can come across as a beautiful campus with perfect people and rigorous academics, FROGS is a time to zoom into the raw, authentic college experiences of 5 orientation leaders.

​Sometimes people forget that TCU is just a microcosm of the entire world, and that although they may be escaping or leaving certain parts, people, and times at home, they aren’t exempt from the experiences they will face here.  These 5 orientation leaders opened up and spoke of the importance of freedom, responsibility, being open to growth, & generosity and spirit that exists on campus.  They talked about how their friends and the TCU community pulled them out of some pretty rough times.  They talked about the immense growth they experienced from just a year on campus.  They also talked about difficult parts-losing a best friend, realizing that they weren’t who they wanted to be, or divorce of parents.  We don’t do this so that orientees can pity us. We do it so that we can open up the space for people to share whatever is on their hearts.  We do it because although we don’t know every story of each individual coming to TCU, we hope that one of these five stories may resonate with them and help them realize that we OL’s are just humans, too.  FROGS breaks the surface of small groups and strips away the  purple polos, cowboy boots, and khakis to show that we are all people with feelings, hopes, anxieties, and emotions from the past, in the present, and for our journeys to come as well.

At the end of every FROGS, we have a debrief in our small groups so that we can talk about each letter represented in FROGS (freedom, responsibility, open to growth, generosity, and spirit).  When talking about generosity, I always bring up the question of how we can be generous to others.  After people share, I bring up the idea that one of the most generous things you can do not only for others, but also for yourself is to be your true and authentic you.  Coming into TCU as a first year student gives orientees the opportunity for a fresh start and leave any bad reputations created in high school.  It gives them another chance to recreate themselves or become an even better version of themselves.
Why try so hard to be someone that they aren’t?  In the long run, it isn’t worth it, and will build up to the people you choose surround yourself with, the relationships you form, the decisions you make, and the life you live.  I’m not saying it’s easy; sometime the right thing to do is the harder thing to do. Sometime the right thing to do requires a step out of your comfort zone.  Sometimes the right thing to do may involve rejection, but ultimately, the best thing you can do for yourself.

​That’s when it hit me.  Reflecting on the words I spoke during 10 FROGS debriefs led to me questioning whether I was truly practicing what I preached.  I like to think that I am generous in the way I speak to others and please them, but I never really thought about how my generosity was affecting myself.

To me, generosity is putting someone else over yourself.  One thing I really struggle with that came to light as an Orientation leader was my nature of being a people pleaser.  I am someone who is very emotional & sensitive; this can cause any slight thought or vibe of someone not approving my decision or not liking me to be pretty hard on myself.  I try to please every person I encounter, and sometimes that ends up in me giving up a little bit of myself just so I can find a similarity with the other person.

This summer, I learned that generosity means to hold your ground, while also spreading kindness. It means to not give up who you are for another person, but just give up parts of you such as your time, your energy, or your spirit.  This can be done by helping another person move out of their residence hall so they can go home to their family even when you’re tired.  This can be done by propping up on a laundry machine while someone is really emotionally drained from a rough session and talk to them about their strengths they contribute to the team while they wait for their clothes to finish drying. This can be done by embracing someone tight and hugging them and letting them know that they are going to be just fine even when it doesn’t seem like it.  This can be done by being a ball of energy for others even when you are exhausted in the inside and coffee is calling your name but you already caffeine overdosed.  This can be done by handwritten cards slipped underneath other orientation leader doors letting them know they are so happy that they have each other in their lives.  Generosity means giving up things like that while still staying true to yourself.  It means rising above the weird vibes you get from people who may not like you because at the end of the day, we can’t please everyone & it’ll just end up in disappointment.  It means trying to see the other side and realizing that everyone has a story, and while it may seem like someone peed in their cereal, you can just hand them another bowl filled with generosity and authenticity.  All these examples are things I experienced from other Orientation leaders this summer, and each act of generosity resulted in a wave of relief, a big smile, and a desire to do the same for another.  Generosity is contagious that way.
That’s when it hit me.  Reflecting on the words I spoke during 10 FROGS debriefs led to me questioning whether I was truly practicing what I preached.  I like to think that I am generous in the way I speak to others and please them, but I never really thought about how my generosity was affecting myself.

To me, generosity is putting someone else over yourself.  One thing I really struggle with that came to light as an Orientation leader was my nature of being a people pleaser.  I am someone who is very emotional & sensitive; this can cause any slight thought or vibe of someone not approving my decision or not liking me to be pretty hard on myself.  I try to please every person I encounter, and sometimes that ends up in me giving up a little bit of myself just so I can find a similarity with the other person.

This summer, I learned that generosity means to hold your ground, while also spreading kindness. It means to not give up who you are for another person, but just give up parts of you such as your time, your energy, or your spirit.  This can be done by helping another person move out of their residence hall so they can go home to their family even when you’re tired.  This can be done by propping up on a laundry machine while someone is really emotionally drained from a rough session and talk to them about their strengths they contribute to the team while they wait for their clothes to finish drying. This can be done by embracing someone tight and hugging them and letting them know that they are going to be just fine even when it doesn’t seem like it.  This can be done by being a ball of energy for others even when you are exhausted in the inside and coffee is calling your name but you already caffeine overdosed.  This can be done by handwritten cards slipped underneath other orientation leader doors letting them know they are so happy that they have each other in their lives.  Generosity means giving up things like that while still staying true to yourself.  It means rising above the weird vibes you get from people who may not like you because at the end of the day, we can’t please everyone & it’ll just end up in disappointment.  It means trying to see the other side and realizing that everyone has a story, and while it may seem like someone peed in their cereal, you can just hand them another bowl filled with generosity and authenticity.  All these examples are things I experienced from other Orientation leaders this summer, and each act of generosity resulted in a wave of relief, a big smile, and a desire to do the same for another.  Generosity is contagious that way.