The power of collective joy

Hi peeps! I have been reading a book called “Braving the Wilderness” by Brene Brown, and this woman is strong, wise, but most importantly-human. One of the things she said that really spoke to me today was when she writes,
“Regardless of what team you are rooting for, the power of collective joy can transcend that division.”
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This reminded me a lot of a time back back in high school. My high school experience consisted of three years at Lake Oswego (LO) High school, and then my final year at Lakeridge High School, also known as LO’s rival school. Both of these high schools compete in academics, athletics and performing arts, and are great schools. However, we spice it up by adding that rivalry aspect to it whenever we come together and compete.

My junior year of high school, I finally made the LO varsity volleyball team, and I was ecstatic. Hard work and determination finally paid off the moment I got that varsity letter in my hands after walking out of tryouts. I couldn’t wait to be the libero (primary defensive specialist wearing different color jersey in volleyball) on the school team. I knew I could show my coach I was worthy for that jersey.

However, the excitement and joy I felt for my passion of volleyball began to gradually fade away as I realized I did not mesh well with my coach’s way of motivating the team, and the volleyball drama within the team. Cliques were apparent, and winning was most important.

Don’t get me wrong here, I love to win. When I step on to that court, I plan to win. However, winning is more than just the score on the board. To me, winning is the joy in celebrating every single point, congratulating every teammate, and coming together as a family to push our bodies and minds to light the fire in our souls with the passion we call volleyball. It sometimes comes with ugly, but happy tears, sweaty embraces of teammates, and always-big smiles that leave our face muscles hurting the next day.

That didn’t happen very much my junior year. Instead, I faced the ugly reality that always seems to come about with school sports teams-politics. Certain players clearly got more playing time and chances to mess up than others. I found myself getting benched for a single mistake as I watched other teammates stay on the court despite their errors.

The thing about volleyball is that it wouldn’t exist without making mistakes. It would never end. I understand that we play to win, but volleyball should be taking every player and treating them with equality.
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Anyways, the day finally came-the “Civil War Volleyball Game.” We call it civil war because we play with our rivals across our lake-the “Lakeridge Pacers.” That night, my coach finally gave me the libero jersey and I was ready to show her I was worthy of this jersey. The Lakeridge Pacers were in the top 3 in ranking against all the other schools in our league. We were in the double digits. Lakeridge only lost to one team, and we lost to countless. However, their ranking was not going to affect my determination to win this game.

Our team played phenomenally. We beat Lakeridge 3 games in a row. Parents mouths were gaped wide open. My team fought hard. I hadn’t experienced the joy that came with my passion of volleyball that entire school season until this day. We celebrated every single point, jumped up and down, and smiled so hard till our faces hurt.

collective joy is sweaty embraces, big smiles, and off-the-wall adrenaline :)
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When we were cleaning up our gym after the game was over, multiple parents came up and congratulated us. They let us know they we really gave Lakeridge a surprise. These weren’t just our parents. These parents included those of kids from Lakeridge. When we were high-fiving the other team at the end of the game, I could tell the frustration, surprise, and sadness in the faces of every one of the players. Some didn’t even look at me as I shook their hand and said “Good game.” The last person to shake my hand was Wendy Stammer, the varsity volleyball coach. All she said was, “You were phenomenal.” Little did I know she would be my volleyball coach my senior year of high school. Little did I know she would play such a positive and profound impact in my life and perspective of community. Little did I know she would become an inspirational figure and role model who I look up to. But that’s a whole another story.

​My point is, going back to Brene Brown’s quote,

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Regardless of what team you are rooting for, the power of collective joy can transcend that division

​collective joy doesn’t just get the team stoked; it fires up your fan section like no other​

These people who came up to me and congratulated my team and I after our win were not just those of our own parents and friends. Congratulations came from individuals of our rival school as well. That is the power of collective joy. They experienced the joy that came about as we played the game of our lives, and were compelled towards it. The joy was contagious and boundaries that kept out other factors of reasons to dislike us were broken. It was a game well played, and the reason was founded on the cultivation of collective joy.

For those volleyball players reading this, if there is anything I took out of my volleyball and coaching years, it is that coaches would much rather take a player who excels in positivity, “coachability,” and leadership over a skilled player. One that can lead a team through bringing them together as a family who celebrates every point like fools. A player who can cultivate collective joy.

Winning is collective joy created not just in volleyball games, but also in life. In a world of brokenness, pain, and hurt, we need people who can mend loss with joy. Don’t ever think you are incapable of being that light in other people’s life. It can be as simple as a smile, words of encouragement, or acts of service.
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Have a great day y’all!